After a failed bid to set up Technical Support Monkey with one of the local Hell’s Angels (hey, what’s more ‘outdoorsy’ and ‘bad boy’ than a Hell’s Angel?), Zamo phones up a variety of local tennis clubs and golf courses to inquire about the number of wealthy eligible man monkeys to sell, er, marry off Technical Support Monkey to. Sadly, none of their dress codes seem to allow for Chimpette to wander aimlessly in hooker heels, a tube top, and booty shorts… whether Chimpette wants to dress like that or not is another matter, of course.

Even worse, Chimpette refuses to learn from Serena Williams’ grunty example how to get a man. So what if you’re not supposed to grunt on the golf course?

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