Zamo's Friends and Foes: The Churchmans
Ah, the Churchmans. I wouldn't mind them so much if it weren't for their damn cat. No, I would still dislike them because Mrs. Churchman keeps calling me a demon. I keep telling her it's pronounced "I-GUA-NA" but she just won't listen.
Plus she teaches church choir singers at home. You have no idea how annoying it is to have just settled into a nice nap only to have it shattered by the high notes in Handel's Messiah. If they're a church choir, shouldn't they rehearse at the church? Which they built six blocks away for a reason...
I don't see Mr. Churchman too much except when Mrs. Churchman lets out a shrill holler like "HAROLD!!!! THE LITTLE DEMON FROM NEXT DOOR IS EATING OUR ROSES AGAIN! CALL THE EXORCIST!!!!"
I kind of feel sorry for Mr. Churchman, actually. If I were him, I'd spend long hours at the office too. I think he's a teacher. Must suck to have summers off to spend time with that family.
Oh yeah - the kids. The only sane one is the eldest, Chastity. She wants to be a paleontologist when she grows up, so she and I can talk about my glorious dinosaur ancestors. I suspect she was switched at birth though, because the other three bear no resemblance whatsoever.
There's Jeremiah, who wants to be a veteranarian. Needless to say, I don't care for Jeremiah much. Then there's Bartholemew, who is kind of gullible, so he would be fun to toy with, except he always rats me out to his horrid mother, and she yells at Georgie so then Georgie yells at me. Last and least of all is the youngest, Faith. If you think her mother has a shrill loud voice, you should hear Faith squawk, which she does constantly.
On second thought, unless you are an enemy of mine, may you never be so unfortunate.