The Zamo Anthropological Museum
All great anthropologists have had ties to museums of one sort or another, and as the first and greatest iguana anthropologist (hell, the greatest of any anthropologist!) naturally I need to have my own museum too.
I plan to have a dedicated building for a permanent exhibit of the collections I have accumulated during my fieldwork amongst the talking monkeys - no borrowing museum space for temporary exhibits for my great work! Mainly I am aiming my exhibits towards providing educational enjoyment for my fellow educated lizards so that we main gain a better cross-cultural understanding (the better to use against the humans!), but I suppose I might allow people and other lesser sorts to enter if they can behave in a civilized manner. (No cats, though.)
One of the longer-term goals of my museum is to provide opportunities for research enhancement for future iguana anthropologists to use the museum as a base of operations for their own fieldwork and to share their findings with the public.
So, one might ask what all will be featured in my museum. I plan to have entire wings dedicated to the religious and superstitious beliefs of people, their attitudes towards us lizard-folk and the environment in general, their diets, their technology and cultures. Enrichment information will be available based on the conclusions I have reached from my observations of humans in their natural habitats. Diversity issues will also be explored in depth - for example, do humans really behave any differently in malls versus at their jobs, or is this just a fallacy they have perpetrated in order to avoid being terminated by their bosses? And are there any actual differences between groups of humans or do they in fact all look and act exactly the same?
I also plan to have dioramas and other displays illustrating their ways of living from their apparent prehistoric beginnings through modern repeated attempts to start international nuclear war. Towards this end I have been amassing a collection of human artifacts and cultural objects that I am currently authenticating and documenting. In case of inquiries, I should say right now that the Zamo Anthropological Museum has a strict policy of non-repatriation of artifacts. It has been made clear that originating humans are simply incapable of preserving their precious legacies on their own and that such work must be left to professional conservators such as myself. (So, no, Wilhelm, you cannot have your iPod back!)
I am currently having an artist do renderings of what the galleries may look like when completed, and as said artist gets off her lazy butt and produces these drawings, I will post them here so as to eventually make up a virtual museological tour.
For now, I only have the following rendering of the Lintball Amulets:Talisman or Superstition? exhibit, which features various actual lintball amulets I have collected from the pockets of many diverse humans as well as information on their attempts to appease the angry Dryer God - who steals their socks, shrinks their cottons, and felts their sweaters - by means of carrying these amulets at all times and chanting magical invocations on laundry day.
